


She and I

by FtWinn



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alive Mary Winchester, Dead John Winchester, F/F, Female Castiel (Supernatural), Female Castiel/Female Dean Winchester, Female Dean Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Librarian Castiel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, Past Abuse, Past Castiel/Meg Masters, Reunions, Slow Burn, Sort Of, Tags May Change, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 14:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19702867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FtWinn/pseuds/FtWinn
Summary: While writing this I have been listening to pierce the veil, I listened to them in high school because the girl I had a crush on listened to them.That just seems very fitting.Also Mark was supposed to be Meg but ended being a completely different character. Except for the part about being a sadistic, I guess.





	1. Nothing lasts forever

Deena almost hadn’t recognized her.

While some things clearly did not change after high school, Castiel’s immaculate posture, her dark hair and intense gaze remained the same, but it had still been a long time.

“Hey Castiel, what a surprise to see you again.” She said.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel responded. “but who are you?” 

Deena laughed.

“Well that really hurts my feelings, we were in the same class for four years, we did those biology projects together, remember?”

Castiel frowned.

“Deena?” She guessed. “I did not recognize you without the ponytail, I do remember the biology project; I had to do all the work because you were going on so many dates.” 

Deena chuckled awkwardly, raking a hand through her hair that really was much shorter than it had been. 

She had done that except she hadn’t been going on dates as much as she had just been sleeping around. Not that there’s anything wrong with that she thinks. John wouldn’t agree, but he can go fuck himself. 

“So can I take a look at your car? I mean, I assume that what you're here for and not just to catch up.” She said because she did have a job to do and she two other clients after this.

Her car was just like Castiel herself respectable, conventional but mostly practical.

“We should catch up, wanna get a beer together?” Deena asked

“I don’t drink.” Castiel responded without hesitation.

“Or get a coffee.” Deena persisted.

“fine.” She said curtly, harshly almost.

“Saturday at three in The Appletree?” She suggests. Castiel takes her smartphone out of her purse to check her agenda. 

“That works.”

“Okay, it's a date.” She says and shoots Castiel fingerguns.

Castiel gives Deena a blank look, gets in her car and drives away. Ouch.

💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙

It was saturday and Deena was trying to get her eyeliner right. 

She wasn't trying to impress anyone persé, but she did care about her appearance. 

She also cared about looking like she didn’t care, but no one had to know that.

When the eyeliner looked like she wanted it to she applied some mascara and lip gloss then styled her hair.

The clothes she had picked out were: a denim skirt, a t-shirt, a flannel and combat boots. 

It wasn’t until she stepped in her car that she realised that her skirt was maybe a little short for meeting someone who if she remembered correctly was very religious.

Castiel was already there when she arrived at The Appletree five to three. 

She looked a little more frumpy; probably because she wore a ill fitting trenchcoat over a blouse and jeans instead of the suit she had been wearing last time. 

When they sat down, at a table next to the window, Castiel smiled at her and thankfully didn’t say anything about the length of her skirt. 

“So how have you been?” She asked Deena without preamble. 

“Good.” She responded. “You've seen were I work. I like the job and the colleagues. What about you?” 

“I work at the library.” Castiel said. 

“And?” Deena prompted. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Castiel said.

"..."

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Deena asks and Castiel shakes her head.

“A girlfriend then?” She asks and Castiel shakes her head again, which is surprising because Deena had expected offence or at least a slightly more vehement denial. 

“I do have a cat.” Castiel said. “Cute.” Deena responded because what could she say. 

The conversation hit a dead end, and they sat there in awkward silence until the waitress came to take their order.

A coffee for both and a slice of apple pie for Deena.

💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙

The apple pie was really good, the conversation really wasn't. 

Every attempt at getting the conversation going from either if them falls flat.

“Are you going to church tomorrow?” Deena asked because be know she didn't really know what else to say.

Castiel stilled and stopped dropping sugarcubes into her coffee. 

“No.” She said quietly. “They haven't been quite as welcoming since my divorce.”

“WHAT!?” Deena said loudly. “You got married, you're like 24 or something.”

“I’m 25, but you're right that we were very young when we married. That is part of the reason it didn't work out. The main reason it that he wanted children and I don't. At the very least not within five years.”

“Yeah, I totally get that.” Deena said. 

Castiel smiled at her. “My parents did not. Our relationship has been very strained since then. I’m starting to realise our faith may have been the only thing we've ever had in common.”

Castiel looked out of the window thoughtfully. “I'm starting to see the way they treat other people. Girls that don't always wear “enough” clothing.” She said with fingerquotes. “Single mothers, gay people. It makes me realise that I act like that too.”

“Yeah, I did kind of expect you to say something about the skirt.” Deena admitted. 

Castiel shifted in her chair and curled a lock of hair around her index finger.

“I almost did.” She admits. 

💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙<>🛠️<>💙

“So why did you get married so young?” Deena asked. 

Castiel took a sip of coffee that was probably fifty percent sugar. 

“There were lot of reasons.” She said. “Mark wasn’t as conservative as the rest of the congregation. Also we both really wanted to, uhm… have, you know... _sex_.” Castiel blushes, it's a good look on her Deena thinks. 

She laughed. “Have you gotten any action since Mark?” Castiel looked scandalized.

“Okay, i’ll drop the topic of your non-existent sex life.” Deena said. “Did you keep in touch in touch with anyone after graduation, besides Mark Masters?”

They ended up staying a little longer than they should have (Deena still had groceries to do) and decide to break off for now but meet again next week.

Deena is looking forward to it.


	2. And we both know hearts can change

Usually she didn't like saturdays all that much but today Castiel had a engagement with Deena.

She had been lonely since the divorce and, if she was being honest, even before that. 

Mark’s liberal mindset mostly applied to other people, not to them. 

Although they clearly hadn’t known each other well enough when they got married; she’s not sure she could have guessed how sadistic and controlling he could be when he seemed so reasonable most of the time. 

During their relationship a lot of things happened so stealthily that she didn’t even realize it. 

Almost soundlessly everything had started to revolve around him and their relationship. 

Her own hobbies had fallen to the wayside, her sense of comfort less important than looking presentable so that he wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with her. 

Even her contact with friends and other people, especially the ones outside of the church, had slowly started to dwindle.

When Deena had asked her last week if she had kept in touch with anyone after graduation she’d told Deena that she hadn't been that close to anyone.

That was a lie, she did, and she missed her friendships with a lot a them.

Just the idea of making her own plans without explaining herself was rather freeing.

She still found herself thinking of excuses  _ She’s an old classmate if I didn’t, what would people say?  _ this time couldn't think of a reason she really _ had _ to go.

She just wanted to, and now she could.

And she could do it while wearing her old trenchcoat.

  
  


💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚

  
  


When they'd finished their coffee’s Deena said “Do you wanna do something fun?”

“Like what?” Castiel asked.

“I don't know.” She said. “what do you do in your free time?”

She thought about it. “I.. don't know.”  _ Yet _ she added in her head.

“How many of our ex-classmates do you think still live around here?” Deena asked completely changing course seemingly out of nowhere.

“Found one.” Deena said with a almost smug look. “Balthazar.”

_ Balthazar _ . 

She couldn't be friends with him anymore because he was gay, that in itself wouldn't be enough to break of a friendship. 

The problem with him was that he didn't want to be celibate or even monogamous, no he slept around and he flirted with  _ everyone. _ Even mark.

And Mark did not like that. So she ended that friendship.

“H..e..y. Ba..lth..a.zar, I'm pretty sure I spelt that right.” Deena mumbles. “It’s Dee..na from hi..gh sch..oo..l W..ou-” 

“Deena, what are you doing?” Castiel asked slightly panicked.

“I'm texting him, you were friends with him, right?” Deena asked but it sounded highly rhetorical. 

“Because I’m pretty sure you don't have any friends right now and in my opinion you need to change that. And you know  _ friends will be friends right to the very end _ .” She said as if she was quoting something.

“You don't have the right to make that choice for me.” Castiel said both mad and panicked.

“Right, sorry.” Deena said. 

She sounded genuine enough for Castiel to calm down.

Instead of accepting her apology she said. “But I would like to have his number.” Because she thinks that might her feelings well enough for now.

  
  


💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚

  
  


They didn't visit balthazar, instead they decide to watch a movie at Deena’s house because  _ how have you not seen star wars yet?  _

It was softly raining when they left The Appletree and Deena quickly pulled her in the direction of her car. 

“It's a beautiful car.” She said when they were safe from the rain.

Deena smiled. “Yeah, she’s my baby. She’s also probably the only sound choice my dad has ever made.”

When they reached Deena’s house, a small flat with band-and movie posters on the wall, Deena took her coat and hung it next to her own.

Castiel let herself be steered toward the and sat down while Deena got the snacks and drinks.

  
  


💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚<>🐝<>💚

  
  


Halfway through the movie the doorbell rang, so Deena paused the movie.

“Sammy, what are you doing here?” Castiel heard her say. “Sure, i’ll buzz you up but I think I deserve a explanation don't you think?”

When Sammy entered Castiel was honestly a bit shocked, she had thought Deena was tall but her brother wasn't just a little bit taller he was huge.

This was the smart but annoying little brother she had heard Deena talk about in high school so often?

She had pictured him smaller and with glasses maybe? But in hindsight she should have expected a version a lot older than the one from stories she had heard so many years ago.

She stood up from the couch to introduce herself.

“Hello Sammy, I'm Castiel.” She said. He huffed a laugh. “It's Sam actually, but it's nice to meet you. I didn't know Deanne would be having company or I would come another time.” 

“I told you not to call me that.” Deena said in a somewhat whiny tone.

“Well, I told you not call me sammy.” Sam shot back.

“Look, are going to tell me why you're here?” Deena asked not unkindly. 

Sam dropped on the couch with a sigh. “Mom says you haven't been answering her calls?” He said. 

“And we have to talk about that in person because?” Deena said, her tone growing colder.

“We've been worried about you since dad died-” Deena scoffed. “I'm an adult Sammy, let my deal with my own shit.”

She can tell they are gearing up for a fight. “Deena, thank you for today, but I feel I should go.” 

Deena turned to Castiel with a strained smile.

“Sorry cass, I’ll walk you to the bus stop.” She said.

  
  


Alone at the bus stop she realised Deena had called cass. She smiled.

It was… nice, informal, like they were friends.

_ You don't have any friends right now and in my opinion you need to change that. _

She would, and wasn't this her already starting to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I have been listening to pierce the veil, I listened to them in high school because the girl I had a crush on listened to them.   
> That just seems very fitting.
> 
> Also Mark was supposed to be Meg but ended being a completely different character. Except for the part about being a sadistic, I guess.


End file.
